Here are some beliefs that you need to be able to open yourself up to in order for our little seeds of self-love to plant themselves firmly inside of you.
If you can start to open yourself up to these beliefs then you can definitely start to open yourself up to self-love and self-love is just like so much more than this buzzword or gimmick that you hear on social media, self-love is unconditional love. So let’s get started with the beliefs.
Number one: every single person on this planet deserves self-love. Every single person with all their imperfections, with all the things that frustrate them about themselves, with all of The good- The bad -The ugly! Every single person deserves it and once you open yourself up to this belief, it means that you have to believe that you deserve it too.
The second belief is your body already unconditionally loves you. she unconditionally loves you, she protects you at every tiny situation, every tiny possibility of hurt that there is. Your body is there to protect and love you. she loves you more than you love yourself, she loves you more than she loves herself.
What do I mean by self? Well you’ve probably heard of your higher self, some people call it the “one that is conscious and sees your own thoughts” so I’m talking about your inner self, your soul, the actual place inside where your true personality comes from where there are no holds on your past or your future- it’s you right now. It’s the being in the human being.
Often I will talk about how your body loves you and when I talk about your body I mean your physical body, your physical self. It’s your brain, your mind and your subconscious because these are all parts of you that really really love you, that have your best interests at heart but are scared of change and scared of you getting hurt. They basically are just scared of you getting hurt over everything and that’s why they constantly trying to protect you!
Say you’ve got some past trauma, your body would rather feed you alcohol everyday to numb down the emotions because she knows that dealing with emotions would hurt you, even though when you use an alcohol everyday to numb down your emotions it will eventually hurt her so she would rather take that pain and pressure on herself in the long run rather than risk you feeling pain right now.
So if we believe that for your entire life your body has unconditionally loved you and protected you at every point then basically all of the destructive things that you’ve ever done comes down to the root that your body is trying to protect you. This means that your body is deserving of respect and unconditional love too and sometimes she’s going to need protecting from herself! That’s one of the absolute core beliefs that I have, that that allows me to have empathy and compassion for myself.
Which leads are song to belief number three empathy, compassion, acceptance and commitment are the four cornerstones of our self-love. Without those 4 things you cannot have self-love!
So the empathy and compassion go hand in hand to help you be kinder to yourself, kinder about your past mistakes, kinder about your future mistakes because you’re going to make them! kinder about being imperfect because that’s what you are, you are imperfect and that’s OK! They also help you understand yourself better but from a kind, gentle place.
Acceptance is not apathy. acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re never going to want to change or grow. Acceptance means that you’re able to love yourself in this moment, love yourself Messy because you need to be able to accept and love yourself right now! Then you can go on to thrive and grow in a really organic way. We all know that the more positive your surroundings and your encouragement, the more likely you will succeed in life and yet we walk around with this horrible voice inside our head, constantly putting us down, constantly being negative and expect ourselves to be perfect! We expect ourselves to want to better ourselves every day but when we’ve got a horrible voice inside your head kicking off and being a right b**** then why would we want to be feeling better or getting any better? So acceptance is very important.
The last one is commitment and commitment means that it is a daily commitment to Love Yourself. It’s a daily commitment because if you forget for a few days you can slip back. Self-love is like a relationship, and you can neglect a relationship! So at first when you get to know someone, you actually have to get to know them to fall in love with them, it’s the same with self-Love, you have to get to know yourself and then you have to appreciate the great things about yourself and accept the imperfections. Then after you fall in love with someone, it doesn’t mean that it’s rosy for the rest of your life, it’s not a happy ever after at the end of the story! It takes commitment every single day to put in the work for the relationship in order to keep the love alive and keep it growing. Again it’s exactly the same as self-love you have to make a commitment every single day so that is definitely part of the cornerstones of self-love.
The next belief is that worthiness is a given. It is a birthright. Worth is a birthright. There’s nothing that you need to base your worth on accept your “isness” Your worth just is a is.
The last belief we’ve going to look at is that not only is every single person worthy of self-love, but they are also worthy of the abundance that comes after you find self-love! You’ve got to be open to getting so much more because as soon as you open yourself up to self-love, you start to believe in yourself, you start to believe in your dreams, you start to have the confidence to do the things to change things!
That organic change that we spoke about before, all the sudden there’s a lot of things that are going to be in your reach and that can be scary and that can send your body back into protective mode again but it’s about allowing yourself to know that:
you’re worth the abundance
you’re worth the change
you’re worth the risk
you’re worth following your fear
We speak a lot about fear because fear comes up every single day and you may need to open up your daily commitment and start to allow more commitments to come in because once you realise you love myself, then you start to believe in myself you can move past this fear and constantly tell your body that she’s safe and that you can cope with whatever comes up. Then you start to believe that you are worthy of your dreams and everything that’s possible!
As with everything in life you can decide to learn the basics and it can affect your life in beautiful ways or you can dive in much deeper and have it change your life forever! If you commit to just 4 minutes a day, it will have such an amazing impact on you but if you want to dive in deep further who knows where it will lead you- the possibilities are endless!
If you’re interested in learning more about daily commitments and the miracles that can happen, then head over here to join us for 44 days of Self-Love in January.
Today sees our new online community officially OPEN! I hardly slept a wink last night and I’m really resisting to hold off for another day because I really want everything to be SO perfect for you but (as with so much in life!) there’s no such thing as perfect and sometimes, when you’ve got a message that NEEDS to be out there in this beautiful world you need to let go of perfection and just let your heart lead.
So here is my heart splattered on a website, standing before you- just asking for you to… oh hold up I’m getting into movie mode already!
December Membership Perks
So this Month’s theme is “Kindness” and we are exploring the concept of “Tomorrow’s Me”
The first video has been released today and if you are logged in to your FREE account, you can view it on your Membership Perk page. The Journal Prompt can also be downloaded from there too!
Don’t forget we also have lot’s going on in our Facebook Community and we’ll be going through the FREE Kick Start Your Self-Love Challenge in there on the 9th December together with live videos every day <3
OK, take a moment to pause before the rush of dinners, bedtimes and all the fun that comes with it.
Breathe, put your hands to your heart and close your eyes.
Tonight you choose to be grateful, tonight you choose to remain calm, tonight you choose to be AS important as everybody else, tonight you choose connection, tonight you choose fun and tonight you choose to BE. You are allowed to BE.
Breathe in deeply- surrounding yourself with worth, value and joy.
Breathe out slowly- releasing any stress in your muscles, releasing any expectations and pain.
Open your eyes <3 Have a beautiful evening peeps <3
There is no money in you loving yourself. There is no money in you loving what you see in the mirror.
We are taught our whole lives that we are not good enough or that there’s always something we need to change in order for us to be good enough or even lovable.
This can be dressed up with many sexy terms- “beach body ready”, “Self-improvement”, “ but however they (or we) tries to dress it up the meaning stays the same- without change (IE BUYING THIS) we are not worthy of Self-Love today.
In fact, I’ll go one step further- for most Self-Love is actually a step too far. It’s something that can ever be achieved. It’s some unattainable unicorn goal that’s too high for mere mortals to reach for. So, they sell smaller packages- body confidence. Independence, self-growth <<< These things, we are told are attainable, but still not today, its takes hard work and more change.
Acceptance however doesn’t really get a look in. Acceptance is lazy Acceptance is unmotivated Acceptance is undriven Acceptance is unambitious Acceptance is settling Acceptance is aiming too low.
Surely Acceptance couldn’t ever be a good thing?
As humans, we have this beautiful ability to grow. As we learn and grow change happens- It’s a beautiful process and as unstoppable as the sea! We are imperfect and every one of us has points that we fail on, that we can better about ourselves, that we can learn more about and then grow beautifully.
BUT THIS IS THE POINT THAT WE ARE MISSING OUT ON. Change in itself is not a bad thing.
Striving for change without self-acceptance in place is hard. Its gruelling- it’s an unhappy place to be because we won’t be happy or express love for ourselves until we “get there” until we change, until we are close to perfect.
Change with self-acceptance already is place is completely different. That possibility to grow, expand and create is already within us. When we concentrate on self-love, acceptance and seeing how deserving of love we already are *Right Now* that change will happen organically. That change, determination, motivation and ambition will be as natural as night and Day! It will be freeing, easy and so natural! Change will feel good because you will already have that kind voice inside you that knows everything is already enough, even if you change your mind or what you are working on doesn’t go as planned.
Not only is Self-Love achievable, but it’s completely within your grasp. I like to think of acceptance as a stepping stone to positivity and then to self-love. It’s your first step on an amazing journey.
Many women start in a place of hate when it comes to their bodies. Asking a woman to name one thing that they love about their body will normally get an awkward response, you can see the struggle. Switch to asking them what they hate and you see almost relief on their faces. Most can rattle off a whole list and some will even enjoy it.
With summer around the corner we’ll now be bombarded with images, adverts and social media posts about being “bikini ready”, “summer ready”, “befores and afters”, magic pills, miracle diets and so so so much more! To accept your body how she is right now *today* may feel impossible- maybe even rebellious!
Body acceptance can be really hard especially after so many years of being in the mindset that you constantly have to improve your body (or hide parts away) in order for you to be attractive, to be healthy or even to have her out in public!
Accepting your body doesn’t mean you’ll never want to lose weight, workout or eat healthy. It just means that you recognise that you are allowed to feel beautiful, eat like you love yourself, wear what you want to wear, do what you want to do (swimming anyone?) and enjoy your body TODAY. It also means that you’ll know that you deserve love regardless of what your body looks like. Your body works so hard for you every day, if you can’t show her some love *at the very least* could you show her some appreciation and accept her today?
We all have quirks, personality traits and annoying habits that we’d like to get rid of or change. We all think, say and do things that prove (to us and everyone else) that we are imperfect every day. We are imperfect beings and we know that everyone on this planet right now is imperfect.
So why do we beat ourselves up about this? Why do we pour hate on ourselves for being imperfect and fight our imperfections so ungracefully?
If we were to write out our inner voice onto paper when we are being harsh to ourselves for the many things that we can’t even change- the wording and names we call ourselves would be shameful. It would be hard to write and harder to read.
And yet we say those words to our beautiful, vulnerable mind Every. Damn. Day. And when you add mental illness into the mix that voice can become unbearable.
What do we see in the media, society, social media- even in self-help books/shows, the very places that are trying to help us?
Self-help = Change yourself
Therapy= Change yourself
Media= Change yourself
Be more positive, more confident, less fearful, less dependant, less anxious. This is all great advice but again it’s teaching us that we NEED to change in order to be lovable. “Be more, be less” is not promoting change with acceptance first. Which means we feel like we can’t love ourselves or accept the way our minds work until the change is done. And as we learnt before the change is NEVER done. We are constantly changing with growth and we need to do this WHILE loving ourselves. There’s no time to wait until after because there is no after.
Every single negative thing your mind is getting you to do or telling you is because she is trying to protect you. Every single thing.
Your mind (whether you have mental health issues or not) loves you and has two main goals:
1) To protect you from physical harm (danger or death)
2) To protect you from mental harm (hurt or emotional pain)
And she will do whatever it takes to protect you from these two things simply because she loves you so much.
To do this she will use distraction, busyness, blocking and addiction. she protects you because she loves you.
Accepting this can literally be life changing-
“I’m doing/blocking/eating/saying this because my body & mind are trying to protect me. I can now forgive myself for this because I know it’s my mind’s way of showing love and it worked in the past”
Your brain may work differently to other people. the ways she is trying to protect you may be frustrating- but know she is doing it through love. She loves you and is activity trying to protect you today- can you accept her and show her understanding rather than hate.